Love Bombing!
Words of the week:
Love Bombing
Love Bombing Part 2
I. Scenario
Naseem and Stacy met online. Stacy was gorgeous. She worked out in the gym seven days a week. Therefore, she was very fit. After three weeks of talking and getting to know each other. The two decided to meet in person. Naseem was tall, dark, and handsome. They made a very nice couple. The two of them got along very well and spent a lot of time together. Stacy was always telling Naseem how good she felt when he was around. Giving him a lot of compliments. As time went on their relationship became very intense. One morning Naseem sent Stacy a direct message, just like he did the day before. This time the message showed up as blocked. Naseem was very confused. He refused to believe that Stacy no longer wanted to be with him.
Before writing this week, newsletter, I was talking with a family member. I was asked what my next subject was for my new weekly newsletter and the answer was love bombing. Her response was “love bombing also takes place in the church, not just in relationships.” Let’s look at love bombing from a different perspective.
II. Scenario
This was told to me by a family member. This scenario is their experience.
When her and her husband first attended a local neighborhood church. They were encouraged to become members. The married couple received attention from the Reverend, First Lady, and church members. Phone calls were made from church members to make sure the couple was planning to attend Sunday services. This went on for 5 weeks. Next, they were encouraged to get baptized. A date and time were scheduled for the baptismal. After getting baptized, the new members were transitioned to regular church membership which included paying their weekly tithes. The phone calls stopped for the new church members. They stopped getting special treatment from the Reverend, First Lady, and church members.
I realize some of you may not like the last scenario. I understand, however, I desire for you to look at the behavior of manipulation. I am NOT saying everyone in the church is set out to hurt others. I am just pointing out the manipulation.
This may seem counterproductive at first. If an individual is attempting to hurt someone, why are they acting positive in the beginning. Why do people participate in love bombing others?
Because they have a purpose. Manipulation is a form of control. The purpose is to get whatever it is they want from the individual. Those wants could be sex, money, attention, etc.
Once the love bomber has what they want they will do one of the following:
Move on to another victim
Return to the same person and start the abuse again
Not return
I have talked to many, many people and some of them have been loved bombed. All different age groups and ethnic backgrounds. Perhaps this information will help someone to understand what they have experienced. Many people tell me they feel as though they have done something wrong. It is sometimes difficult to explain the reason behind the love bombing behavior. Mostly, it is because the person refuses to admit to themselves what has just happened. Often the individual desires to be loved and have the romance, but soon realizes that is not going to take place. This brings s I see it as a way to do some self-reflection. Plus, an opportunity to learn from the experience (holding oneself accountable) and starting the healing process.
Ways to avoid getting love bombed:
Be confident!
If you have low self-esteem-work on yourself.
If you are uncomfortable about your weight-workout, walk, do some form of exercise.
If you are holding onto anger or bitterness from a previous relationship(s)-work on yourself.
Manipulators look for people who can be easily controlled. That means can you be controlled mentally, physically, financially, or emotionally? Don’t allow this to happen to you or someone you know.
New topic next week.
Have a GREAT week!
Rev. CQS
Bigliography
Pace, Michael 2015
Dark Psychology 101: Learn The Secrets Of Convert Emotional Manipulator, Dark Persuasion, Undetected Mind Control, Mind Games, Deception, Hypnotism, Brainwashing And Other Tricks Of The Trade. Make Profits Easy, LLC; NJ